To me, this is one of the most stressful parts of attending a visitation or funeral. We care and love you deeply. This sentiment shows your personal connection to the situation but keeps the focus on the person who is grieving. I just want to let you know that I am sorry for your loss. The basic rule is to dress appropriately and avoid drawing attention to yourself. His kind face remains forever in our image. When you’re ready to talk, please feel free to call me. The truth is, there’s no magical combination of words to make someone’s grief go away. For instance, if you know how much your coworker looked up to her father, you can include that in your sentiments. “You don’t get over it, you just get through it. Your father was loved by many. If I know the person, I’ll share a fond memory I had with their loved one. Keep your sentiments sincere and brief. Know that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. “I’ll be up late tonight, and I’m leaving my phone on. Sharing moments like this can show how engaged you are in someone’s life. 30. Definitely don't say that the survivor is better off now! I don’t know how you feel, but I am here to help in anyway I can. Next, even though it feels uncomfortable, always speak to the family of the deceased at a funeral, memorial or visitation. The more heartfelt your message, the more easily it will be received. If you're wondering what not to say at a funeral, here are a few tips. Oftentimes you may feel uncomfortableat a visitation and a funeral. Your husband was a great guy. 20. In my last blog, I talked about where to have a visitation and who should attend. Words may not suffice to express the heartfelt sorrow that we/I feel for the passing of your (insert relationship of deceased to bereaved here. If you are looking to make funeral or cremation and memorial plans, please call me. You should say something when you attend a funeral or visitation, but it doesn't have to be much. Most relationships are boring, of course, this is quite understandable, considering the fact that the two people involved are coming from two different worlds.... Power is one thing everyone longs for, ability to exert control and influence on others. I then share a heart-felt compliment about the person and say I’m sorry for their loss. They may feel anger if a loved one was engaging in risky behavior when he died. When chosen carefully, your kind words can help the family of the deceased; it can also remind fellow attendees that the deceased was loved. 26. 19. The family is already grieving, so don't make it worse during the funeral or visitation. All rights reserved. Especially at a funeral or memorial service, where there may be many people in attendance, it can be easy to feel like you don’t want to crowd or … How long you stay depends on your relationship to the loved one’s family. It’s challenging to come up with a new way to offer condolences but it’s important to try. He/She was truly a blessing in my/our life/lives and I/we will miss him/her. “Name of deceased” brought so many gifts to our life. 24. Introducing "One Thing": A New Video Series, The Spruce Gardening & Plant Care Review Board, The Spruce Renovations and Repair Review Board. When I don’t them well, I start by introducing myself, and telling how I knew the deceased. At least he died in his sleep and didn't have to suffer much. View obituaries and send condolences to the family. Sometimes just your physical presence brings comfort to the people who have just lost someone. It doesn’t ‘get better’; it just gets different. “I also lost my mother last year. Instead, show your support by taking over some of your coworkers’ tasks temporarily. But it is usually worse to say nothing. But don’t worry. The URL has been copied to your clipboard. Avoid saying more than necessary. May the soul of the dearly departed rest in peace, may my/our prayers help guide him/her on his journey to our Creator. They continue to participate in every act, thought and decision we make. All you need to do is offer a few sympathetic and kind words in an even tone. It’s a thing people say because they don’t know what else to say. I know how you're feeling. But I want you to know that you’re not alone, and I’m sorry you’re hurting like this.”, 4. Avoid going on and on about how you feel. This is not the time to gossip, tell jokes, or call attention to yourself. 46. With that in mind, here’s what to say at a funeral. If you're close to the family, it isn't necessary to hold a lengthy conversation. Leo Buscaglia is credit for saying, I know for certain that we never lose the people we love, even to death. For more information, see our Funeral Customs section.. I think you had such a special connection with her.”, 7.