that if HE isn't the singular A-hole who is so unusual, then maybe I need to eat a little humble pie and look at things differently. I want to take some time to process and will try to respond to some of the specifics with more insight soon :). This realization can help keep you from panicking if you can't answer a question well. . . I think the fact that I at least see it helps (even though most of the time I don't "see" it until AFTER the fact. You can then include that answer as part of your follow-up communication. Tracy Stackhouse, MA, OTR If one of the two of us is likely to ask one question really meaning something else, which one of us is that likely to be?? You’re pretty clear on what will happen, who will be present, and what you should do if you are unable to answer a question. Act like it makes sense? In reality, it helps to recognize that other interviewees will also have difficulty answering all of the questions to the complete satisfaction of the recruiter. Numbered answers/comments below correspond to numbered comments/questions above. We are known for being "poor self-perceivers" (DSM IV), so if you ever changed your mind and just lost it one day, your ADHDer would be (even more) confused. MOMENTS after an awkward exchange like this (which are very common), my husband will say, "do you see how you just said xwyzlekeielkjxlielekjblks, when I just wanted to know YES or NO." It won't take us that long to get there. I would not hear the question, or miss the comment and she would wait for my response. . I am stressed all the time because my marriage has been in shambles for the past two years, I have two young children whom I love more than my own life, and I am just sad, sad, sad. Warrenton, VA I jokingly responded, "Simplicity is for the simple. It's so nice to know I'm not alone. There's no need to worry. As the ER nurse, I always read my nursing home or assisted living patient’s history and if I saw dementia and no family members were present, I was on the phone with the facility from where they live. How these responses feel to me (the nonADD spouse) ranges from "He didn't hear the question" Can't he say, could you repeat that, instead of making up a semi-related answer? Usually when the words DO come I'm WAYYYYY past his initial question, like if he said "where is the invitation" I would say after a few seconds "I already wrote it down in the calendar and the RSVP said to call by tomorrow." Realized I didn't respond to #3 - What should the NON-ADD spouse do? We go around and around with the whole "intention" vs. "action" thing. E.g., Honey, you know that I can't process things quickly, but I am going to go ahead and quickly reply and then get totally in my stuck thinking and fight him and argue, and act like I DON'T have ADD... basically I try to have it both ways - Help me honey, but do it in exactly the way that I need even though you don't have ESP and only when I think I need help. We are married couples......all of us will have some kind of communication issues by virtue of being different genders and having different backgrounds. A lot of this is my ego/pride that I need to let go. Thanks for that. or "Great question! For example, you may not wish to answer questions about your living situation, but a judge may need the information to decide which home is best suited for child custody. It can feel embarrassing not to be able to answer a question, but that's better than making something up, especially when what you say isn't an appropriate response. That sounds sort of cheesy, but if my husband wasn't a good man and a good father, it would have been easier to give up a long time ago. Submitted by szgrrl on Sat, 03/17/2012 - 18:09. It has helped for me to learn more about ADD, and even more to hear from other people who experience the same things because sometimes I feel like I am CRAZY. Regardless of intent, the result of that can come across pretty disrespectful. Interestingly, it’s not that different at Developmental FX, where the end of the day often sounds like this: “Mouse, where are you going? Honestly, until I read some of the replies from Aspen and Waterfall, I thought MY HUSBAND WAS THE UNIQUE A-HOLE WHO is just so anal that he was DEMANDING that I communicate with him a certain way even though I am clearly not equipped to do so. These great suggestions could be used in a variety of situations. Instead, we’ll make a comment. By the time the interviewer answers, something may have come to mind. How stupid to you have to think they are to believe they have no idea what THEY really meant to ask? In the case of a child with FXS, asking direct questions is the least likely way to accomplish either of these goals. He understands some of my issues better than most as concerns my ADHD. Maybe this wasn't your intent, but it made me smile. You can often buy some time to formulate an answer by rephrasing the question or asking for clarification. a top book that therapists suggest all couples should read, Original post almost EXACT description of us, Replying "en masse" to a few different threads... Part 1. The gardener replied, "what are you talking about? By Sarah “Mouse” Scharfenaker and Tracy Stackhouse. As a really good communicator who really only has ever had communication issues with him (not a good natural communicator) it sounds like he is being condescending, when the common denominator in his communication confusion is HIM. Something like a sort of anxiety attack. . It has been well documented that individuals with FXS often experience a hyperarousal response to direct social interaction. What to Do If You Can't Answer an Interview Question, How to Handle it When You Don't Have an Answer, 12 of the Toughest Interview Questions With Answers, How to Answer Interview Questions About Leaving Your Job, Best Answers for the Most Common Job Interview Questions, Types of Job Interview Questions You May Be Asked, Sample Sales Interview Answers About Strengths and Weaknesses, How to Prepare for Common Receptionist Interview Questions, Tips for a Successful First Job Interview, 30 Questions to Ask the Hiring Manager in a Job Interview, 100+ Job Interview Questions and Example Answers, Answering Job Interview Questions About Strengths and Weaknesses, Interview Question: "Do You Prefer Working Independently or on a Team? There seems to be no logic, no thoughtfulness involved. Beyond that, I TRY TRY TRY to remain humble. I wish more spouses with ADHD would post here. I think on his side, he can't understand how I get from his reinterpreting of my words (almost always badly I must add) to him being disrespectful or condescending with his attitude. I have "turned and walked away" many, many, many times in 36 years. Submitted by ADHDMomof2 on Sat, 03/17/2012 - 21:12. and he said "I answer the question you should have asked." There are strategies you can use to avoid job interview stress, which can happen to anyone regardless of how practiced you are at interviewing, and stay calm. Can you explain it in greater detail?". I have to tell you, I wish my brain didn't filter questions like it does. It is completely normal to face such a situation. Try not to stress out. I'll follow up on 2 & 3 later :)!!! I can give back, something my DW always wished I could do, because where her mind can go with things to protect herself and my not countering these thoughts is a bad combination. Submitted by szgrrl on Sun, 03/18/2012 - 18:53. . I can answer it in part but would like to consider it further and get back to you.". How does your child respond to these questions? Consider saying something like, "That's a very interesting question; can I take some time to consider it and get back to you later?"